By Leyna Krow, Assistant Editor, JTNews
Seattle is not New York. On this point, very few people would argue. Here on the West Coast, we dress differently, eat differently, and even speak differently than our counterparts back east. So it’s no surprise that when it comes to a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, Seattleites have their own ways of celebrating, from the food, to the after-party, to even the location of the service.
Take, for example, the recent Bar Mitzvah of Max Westerman. Through a stroke of luck, the Westermans were able to arrange for their son to have the first and last Bar Mitzvah ever to be held at the Islandwood environmental retreat on Bainbridge Island.
Aside from its taking place at a not only picturesque, but also environmentally friendly location, Max’s father, Martin Westerman, said the true beauty of the event was that it occurred entirely at one location from start to finish.
“We brought in the ark and the Torah,” Westerman said. “We basically moved the synagogue. It’s what we did for 40 years while we were wandering in the desert. So why not?”
While on Islandwood, the Westermans’ guests stayed in the retreat’s dorms, ate all their meals in the cafeteria, and walked everywhere. For entertainment, Islandwood’s staff took Max and his friends out for night hikes and taught them to use the challenge course.
“We strongly suggest finding a venue where you can be for the entire weekend, which takes care of those concerns Jews all harbor: Shomer Shabbat, elderly guests, kosher food and kids activities,” Westerman said. “It consolidates the costs and takes away a lot of headaches.”
Of course, most kids (or, perhaps budding adults may be more appropriate) in the Seattle area seem to be sticking with the time-honored tradition of becoming B’nai Mitzvah in the synagogue.
That doesn’t mean, however, that their parties are always of the standard, country-club variety.
Dani Weiss, who has photographed well over 100 B’nai Mitzvah in the Seattle area in her 18 years as a professional events photographer, said that she’s attended Bar and Bat Mitzvah parties at a number of Seattle’s landmark locations, including the Museum of Flight and the Seattle Aquarium.
“Because the weather is so inconsistent, people make safer choices than they would otherwise,” Weiss noted, saying that indoor destinations are the norm. She was quick to point out that just because everyone is inside doesn’t mean that the ceremonies in rainy Seattle lack charm. Along with time to look at the sea life, parties at the aquarium include dancing in the underwater dome.
With Seattle’s proximity to water, it’s not surprising that boat-bound B’nai Mitzvah parties are a standard as well. Pete Robinson, sales manager for Argosy Cruises, said his company does a number of post-B’nai Mitzvah gatherings of various sizes each year. Argosy offers boat tours around Elliott Bay, Lake Union and Lake Washington and is particularly popular with B’nai Mitzvah groups who have a lot of out-of-town guests.
“They’re always a huge hit,” Robinson said. “We love having all ages on the boats and we haven’t lost any kids overboard yet.”
Robinson said that themed B’nai Mitzvah parties are popular, with girls often choosing to have dance parties with a DJ, whereas many boys opt for Argosy’s casino theme, perhaps as a nod to the Pacific Northwest’s recent and growing tradition of Native American gaming.
As for food, salmon is, understandably, the Pacific Northwest’s choice for the post-Bar and Bat Mitzvah lunch. Seattle caterer Leah Jaffee of Leah’s Catering & Bakery noted that the city’s large Sephardic population has had an influence on the way the Seattle does kiddush, saying she supplies B’nai Mitzvah with items like kippered salmon as often as she does lox and bagels.
Of course, those 12- and 13-year-olds who come of age in the winter months may want nothing more than a sunny day for the occasion. Hence, the growing popularity of destination B’nai Mitzvah. A number of organizations give families the opportunity for a child to become Bar or Bat Mitzvah in Israel (such as the aptly named group, “Bar Mitzvah in Israel”).
Some families, however, simply pick their favorite warm spot and head there. Westerman noted that, since his family will most likely be unable to repeat the Islandwood experience for his younger son, Adam, the boy may very well celebrate his Bar Mitzvah (although still several years off) in the Virgin Islands.