By Melissa Marlowe, JTNews Columnist
“I was given the choice and I opted out of the extra homework,” Rachel Berger comments as she reflects on her initial consideration of undertaking a Bat Mitzvah at the age of 13. Berger, 28, has gathered with her B’nai Mitzvah class of three other 20-somethings, making last minute preparations for their ceremony on August 7 in the sanctuary of the Hillel building.
The students are reviewing their Torah portions, rehearsing the structure of the service, and practicing the choreography associated with the mourners’ kaddish. Each participant brings to the experience a distinct Jewish upbringing and a diversity that could be considered representative of their generation of Jewish peers.
Having not done so as teens, they have made a conscious adult decision to pursue the arduous process of B’nai Mitzvah. With the support of Jconnect, a program run by Hillel at the University of Washington, the group has been provided with a teacher, materials and support, all at no cost to the participants.
Each year the Jconnect program initiates the class in response to the interest level of the community. Josh Miller, the Jconnect director, comments that two days after being hired at Hillel he was approached by one woman eager to pursue her Bat Mitzvah.
“The class basically happened because of me,” says Jessica Tabakin. “I had created a goal for myself that I would go through the process before I turned 26.”
Raised in a Renewal household, Tabakin first became actively involved in the Jewish community in Olympia while attending Evergreen State College. After she moved to Seattle, she felt frustrated by her limited Jewish knowledge.
“When I started this class, I knew three prayers: the Shabbat blessings. I wanted to be able to keep up in services, and I wanted to be able to pass on my knowledge to my children,” says Tabakin.
She says she has been pleasantly surprised by some personal insights along the way. “I found out that I love to sing,” she says. “Now that was a pleasant surprise.”
Terri Sundsvold is going through her rehearsal wearing a tallit for the first time.
“I wanted to practice wearing it, so I would feel more comfortable on Saturday,” she says. “Jessica and I made these tallit ourselves out of silk my mom sent, but wearing it still feels a little strange.”
Sundsvold, who has a degree in Judaic Studies from the University of Arizona, went to Yeshiva in Israel for a year during college.
“Coming into this process, I felt pretty knowledgeable,” comments Sundsvold. “But I found that the experience raised questions for me about what it means to be an observant Jew.
When I first realized I was going to be wearing a tallit during the ceremony, it felt inappropriate, almost masculine.”
She still grapples with questions, however the B’nai Mitzvah opportunity appealed to Terri because she is interested in presenting herself as an educated member of the community. “I think Jewish adults, whether we recognize it or not, are representatives of our religion. I feel I have a responsibility to be educated and represent an accurate portrayal.”
Sundsvold says she feel fortunate that she has found a community that encourages her to grapple with questions about beliefs and rituals.
“For me, Hillel and Jconnect have been so important in my life, it’s a community that is very welcoming, so much so that a number of my non-Jewish friends are coming to the ceremony. I’m excited that this experience will open up a dialogue between us.”
Rabbi Fern Feldman is teaching the Jconnect B’nai Mitvah class for the sec-ond time, and she says she is happy to do so.
“I really love working with this age group,” Feldman says. “The participants are making a meaningful choice to take a step forward in their Jewish journeys, and that is very inspiring.”
Each group she works with has a distinct personality, and this particular class has become very close. “They’ve worked together for eight months, practicing regularly, providing support for each other, and creating friendships.”
The students work under the guidance of Rabbi Feldman to read Hebrew, chant Torah, write a d’var Torah, and master the structure and history of a Shabbat service. Fern recognizes that it is a large undertaking, especially for adults, but she encourages anyone who is interested to pursue the opportunity.
“It’s never too late,” she says, ” The amount of learning within Judaism is infinite. There is always more to discover, the goal should be not to know everyone, but to derive pleasure from the experience of learning.”
As Chadd Bennett, and Rachel Berger practice their portions of the service, they reflect on the paths that brought them to their B’nai Mitzvah ceremony. The lone male in the group, Bennett characterizes his adolescent self as rebellious and cynical, and felt that at age 13 a Bar Mitzvah wasn’t for him.
“I don’t think I was ready to accept the importance of the ritual,” he says.
Berger expressed similar feelings. “I could barely concentrate in Hebrew school, so I only went for about eight months.”
As adults, however, their experiences have been different. In college, Bennett lived in a Hebrew co-operative where he became well-versed in Jewish rituals and prayer.
“I know the intellectual reasoning behind the prayers,” he comments, “But I hadn’t experienced the visceral rituals.” When he read about the class on the Jconnect email list, he felt like the time was right.
Berger recalls being a bit nervous before her first class, but she was impressed by the approach of the teacher.
“I felt like we were taking an intellectual and analytical look at Judaism, and that was something I really enjoyed.” Just before she is called away to sing a final round of Adon Olam, Rachel sums up the weight of the experience for her: “Initially I thought this process was going to answer questions for me, but in the end I’ve found that it has been the catalyst for more questions. I really feel like my journey is just beginning.”