By Leyna Krow, Editor, JTNews
Has this ever happened to you? You arrive at your grandmother’s/friend’s/fiancé‘s house for a Hanukkah party, only to suddenly realize that you forget to bring gifts. How awkward…
But don’t fret, with a little creativity (I find the raw panic associated with potentially disappointing my loved ones always gets my creative juices flowing), you can dig up some great presents from inside your very own vehicle. Behold, the inviting light inside your glove box beckons you to slacker salvation.
So, without further ado, here are 10 suggestions for those absolute last-minute gifts (one for each night of Hanukkah, plus two for good luck). Your friends and relatives will be impressed by your use of recycled materials and your ability to think outside the (glove) box. Consider wrapping all items in Starbucks napkins for maximum classiness.
1. Expired registration origami: Asian-themed interior decorating is big this year, or so I’m told. Take an old registration form and fold it into a crane, a star, or maybe a pirate hat. Caution: some artistic talent may be necessary. Consider including a stick of Big Red so the recipient of this gift can affix it to the ceiling if they like.
2. Sunglasses, one lens missing: What happened to the other lens? Can’t recall. But that’s not important. The point is, this could be the next big fashion trend. Think Michael Jackson with one glove or Left Eye with only one, you know, eye. I promise, by this time next year, all the kids will be wearing single-lens glasses, depth perception be damned.
3. Greeting cards made from pages of your car’s owner’s manual: “Happy Hanukkah from your granddaughter and her Mazda Protégé!” Some pages have pretty pictures on them and I’m sure your loved ones will appreciate the helpful, car-related hints such as: “When windshield wipers no longer clean well, the blades are probably worn or cracked. Replace them.”
4. Jamba Juice punch card: It’s not quite as good as a real gift card, but almost. This is a nice item for a younger relative because it gives them a goal to work toward — and it teaches the kids a little self-discipline and determination, or whatever. Only three more purchases away from a free smoothie!
5. Maps: Who doesn’t need maps? Granted most of mine are from California and I can’t be swayed to part with my Seattle one. (If I get lost in Ballard one more time, I don’t know what I’m going to do. Plus, there’s a coffee stain over Seward Park.) But even if they aren’t useful navigation tools, maps are always nice to have around. They make lovely wall hangings, or you can cut them up and laminate them for placemats.
6. A little something from my CD collection: “Didn’t you ask for a burned copy of Eminem’s The Slim Shady LP? No? Mighty Mighty Boss Tones? Chumbawamba? Well, what mid-‘90s pop acts do you like? Maybe I’ve got it in here somewhere.”
7. Half a bag of gummy bears: Okay, it’s not quite a shiny bag full of chocolate gelt, but candy is candy, right? Plus, after a long car ride, they’ll be all warm and squishy, which, as we learned from the final scene of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, is really the way gummy bears are intended to be eaten. You may want to give this one to your non-observant relatives, since the kashrut of these bears is dubious at best.
8. Magazine subscription renewal cards: To be perfectly honest, I don’t know how these end up in my glove compartment, but they do. Again, not as good as actually giving someone a subscription to your favorite magazine, but sometimes it’s just nice to for people to have the option to do things on their own. In that sense, I suppose this is really more of a suggestion than a gift. “Here: I highly recommend Cat Fancy to you.”
9. Ice scraper: Here in the frigid Pacific Northwest, the ability to remove pesky, early-morning frost from one’s windshield is crucial to a successful commute. Let that someone special in your life know that you’re concerned about both their comfort and safety by giving them your very own ice scraper. Of course, giving up this little gem means that you may someday find yourself trapped behind an icy windshield with only your defroster to (very slowly) save you. On second thought, you might want to keep this item for yourself.
10. $3.57 in loose change: The giving of small amounts of money is a long-standing Hanukkah tradition. Granted, we’re talking a very small amount of money here, but for a friend who rides the bus or lives in an apartment building with coin-operated laundry machines, this is like pure gold — $3.57 worth of pure gold.