By Joel Magalnick, Editor, JTNews
When the fight for same-sex marriage came to Washington State on the morning of March 8, one Jewish couple stepped forward to have their request for a legal certificate denied.
David and Michael Serkin-Poole of Bellevue entered the the K ing County Commissioner’s Office with five other couples — media and county officials waiting in the wings — politely requested a marriage certificate, then filed suit against the county and its executive Ron Sims.
“We’ve been fighting for it for the better part of a decade,” says David, the cantor at Temple B’nai Torah in Bellevue. “We have married our lives in every way, except for a legal piece of paper.”
So, a week before, when the 20-person legal team that filed the lawsuit approached his family, “there was zero question in my mind that we would say yes.”
With all of the press given to the marriage issue in the past months — from Massachusetts, where the state Supreme Court will require civil marriage to take place beginning in May, to cities like New Paltz, N.Y. and San Francisco, where the mayors began issuing marriage licenses amid protests and even arrests — the Serkin-Pooles wanted a more calm, measured approach.
Cantor Serkin-Poole considers himself active politically and spiritually in the Jewish and non-Jewish world, as well as in issues of sexuality. As a child of civil-rights activists, he has been exposed to promoting equality throughout his life. His late father grew up Orthodox while his mother grew up in the Chabad movement, and put considerable energy into fighting sexism and racism.
It is those beliefs that to Serkin-Poole make the roadblock to officially being married so unfair.
“Why should I not have the same way in which we say, officially, on a piece of paper, this is who we are?” he asks.
When Serkin-Poole, 50, came to B’nai Torah nearly 24 years ago, he had only recently come to terms with his sexuality. It took another seven years before conditions within the Reform movement and his own feelings made it comfortable for him to come out to his congregation. It was only then that he could introduce the congregation to his life partner of six years, Michael, 48.
“I made a fundamental decision that it was more important for me to live my life with integrity and honesty,” Serkin-Poole says. “Being a religious leader, one of the things that’s important is that you are what you see and you seem what you are.”
Although not unanimous, support for the cantor was immediate and obvious, and with the exception of a bump in the road when the couple adopted their first child, their community has been very open and accepting. The couple now has three adopted kids, Eugene, 22, Danielle, 20, and Jason, 19.
A longtime friend of the Serkin-Pooles, Sims said he personally supports the lawsuit, even though he is legally bound to refuse the license applications.
“Discrimination or favoritism in the law is wrong,” Sims said in a statement after the six couples were turned away when they requested marriage licenses. “It is imperative that we ensure all people their due civil rights and civil liberties.”
A last-minute march from Capitol Hill to the county building on the same day resulted in 35 more couples being refused the certificates. That morning, Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels also announced a change in city rules requiring to recognize gay marriages performed elsewhere.
The lawsuit, filed by the Northwest Women’s Law Center and the Lambda Legal Defense Fund, which promotes full recognition of civil rights for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities, seeks to overturn the state’s 1998 Defense of Marriage Act law as unconstitutional. Sims said he chose to stay within the bounds of the law when refusing to issue the marriage licenses and allow the courts to decide on the status of the DOMA.
“I believe that the law prohibiting same-sex marriages is wrong,” Sims said, “but the courts must decide this issue. Equality to all cannot be achieved if equality for some is denied.”
“It’s setting up a different status for different kinds of people,” Serkin-Poole says, “and so that’s essentially what we’re asserting, is that it’s in conflict with the state Constitution.”
Like all of the six couples refused licenses that day, the Serkin-Pooles had other options, including traveling to San Francisco or Portland, or even up to British Columbia, where marriage has been legal since last summer.
“Michael and I always thought, ‘this is my home. This is where I live, this is where we raised children,’” Serkin-Poole says. “‘This is where we ought to get married, like any other loving couple wishes to.”
But the plaintiffs in the lawsuit, who were aware of the Serkin-Pooles’ activism, wanted exactly that kind of family to back up their case: long-term, committed people who have raised families and are respected in their communities. The rush to file the suit moved very quickly. With the current momentum, the legal team feared that another couple might strike out on its own to do the same thing and, no matter how good the intentions, fail in its quest.
The notion of marriage goes far beyond symbolic and sentimental: it’s also about legal protection. If one partner dies, the other is currently not eligible for the deceased’s Social Security benefits. The Serkin-Pooles have spent large sums of money to draw up wills, and when they travel, they keep a bevy of documents that includes adoption papers, physician directives and powers of attorney.
“It’s insulting,” says Serkin-Poole.
According to Temple B’nai Torah’ Rabbi James Mirel, the congregation fully stands behind the Serkin-Pooles, but noted that that the issue extends far beyond their friendship.
“The main thing is it’s not about one person, it’s about a movement,” Rabbi Mirel says. “Obviously people have to take a lead for people to move forward. We don’t make it a personal issue, it’s an issue of conscience. I’m happy he did it because it’s a way to go forward.”
Mirel says that though there is a groundswell of support behind same-sex marriages, the same could be said about its opposition.
Some Christian groups have been promoting a Constitutional amendment to define marriage as being between a man and a woman. No organized opposition to same-sex marriage in Washington State’s Jewish community has emerged thus far. Serkin-Poole says it probably has to do with the issue not being a big Jewish battle.
“I think there are other issues Jewishly that are much more controversial,” he says. He also says the laid-back attitude of the Northwest may have something to do with it.
“Compared to some other cities I hear about, this city is relatively calm and relatively respectful, and I’m proud of that.”
With his activism on so many fronts, Serkin-Poole also doesn’t want to give people the idea that gay rights is his single issue. He is active in Israeli-Palestinian peace efforts, which included a trip to Israel in February with the Israel Policy Forum. He is also active in promoting interfaith dialogue, which he says is being tested right now with the release of The Passion of the Christ.
His efforts to marry his life partner fall under the same umbrella, he says.
“What I’m doing here, is it really all that separate? It’s in keeping with that kind of thinking that human dignity is a high priority, and my Jewish values speak to that.”