By Deborah Ashin, Special to JTNews
Every week, Dave Landsman takes an emotional journey to Israel. Though he sits in the comfort of his Mercer Island home, he spends time on the phone with Shabtai Penso, a documentary filmmaker whose life was shattered last September by a suicide bomber. These two men have never met face to face, yet they have developed a strong bond and forged a unique friendship.
Landsman and Penso were brought together last October when Congregation Herzl-Ner Tamid chose to participate in Adopt-a-Family, a program that matches organizations with Israeli families who have suffered from terrorist attacks. Currently providing financial and emotional support to more than 200 Israeli families, the program was established last year by Sharon Evans, a South African-born Israeli whose 19-year-old daughter was critically injured when a Palestinian bus driver deliberately mowed down a group of soldiers standing at a bus stop.
Initially part of the Israel Emergency Solidarity Fund, Adopt-a-Family now operates independently in Israel and is chaired by Evans, who will be in Seattle next month to discuss the program with interested individuals and organizations.
After Adopt-a-Family matched Herzl-Ner Tamid with the Penso family, Landsman, who serves on the synagogue’s Israel Affairs Committee, agreed to be the main contact. Landsman, a 46-year-old high-tech consultant, admits to having some trepidation about connecting with the Penso family, which includes Shabtai, his wife, Nira, and four children, ranging in age from seven to 17. Unsure of how to begin, Landsman contacted people at other synagogues also involved with Adopt-a-Family. They advised him not to have any specific expectations and to always remember that the family recently suffered from a major trauma. For the Pensos, the experience was painfully fresh.
One month earlier, the 47-year-old filmmaker, who lives in Jerusalem, was riding a bus in Tel-Aviv when a suicide terrorist blew-up the bus, killing six people and injuring more than 40. Penso suffered multiple injuries, including permanent damage to his right arm, making it difficult to hold a camera, which was his livelihood.
When Landsman made his first call to Israel the two men immediately connected. “The first story he told me was very dramatic. When he was in the hospital after the bomb attack, Shabtai’s Palestinian friends were calling from the West Bank and crying because they could not visit him because of the curfew. His story is a microcosm of the whole Middle East,” Landsman said.
“My focus is just to listen,” Landsman said. “It is very poignant and makes what is happening in Israel so real.”
Their weekly phone calls are in English and usually last from 30–40 minutes. Landsman and his wife, Mindy, also speak with Penso’s wife, a kindergarten teacher, and their eldest daughter, Ella.
For Landsman, being involved in this kind of program is a departure from anything he had ever done.
“I have always liked the idea of reaching people directly — it’s important to raise money but also to connect with people to move the situation Israel out of the abstract,” he said. “We have gotten back more than we have given.”
The special connection between Herzl Ner-Tamid and the Penso family was further cemented last December during a Jewish Federation mission to Israel. Rabbi Jay Rosenbaum and six other delegates from Seattle were invited to the Penso’s home one evening.
According to Rosenbaum, his congregation’s involvement with Adopt-a-Family has been remarkable because “it gives everyone a deeper understanding and connection with what is happening is Israel.” In addition to raising over $15,000 for the program, the synagogue’s Hebrew school and youth group sent Hanukkah cards and letters to the Penso family.
For Rosenbaum, one of the most emotional moments of his visit was when Penso took members of the mission to the site of a second bus bombing that occurred two months after his traumatic experience, but in his own neighborhood. The blast, which killed friends and neighbors, was especially chilling because Penso’s 13 year-old daughter, Naomi, was supposed to be on the bus.
“She forgot something and came home. When she closed the door, she heard the bus explode,” Rosenbaum said.
Seattle psychiatrist Dr. Stuart Garrie has met the Pensos, and believes the connections created by Adopt-a-Family can make a major difference to someone suffering from post-traumatic shock. He explained that someone can be “emotionally bottled up,” but he can’t tell his wife because she’s already stressed, he doesn’t want to burden his children, and he knows his friends are also “going through hell.”
According to Garrie, “The opportunity to speak to a sympathetic outsider can be incredibly therapeutic. Sometimes talking to someone who is not close is easier because they won’t judge.”
The Federation delegation hired Penso and his son to film their visit, which Landsman says was a positive way to help a “very proud man who does not want to take charity.” Although holding a camera was painful and difficult, the assignment gave Penso the opportunity to work again. Landsman pointed to the cruel irony of how before Penso was attacked, he was working on a documentary about the impact of terrorism on Israeli families.
Rabbi Rosenbaum encourages other congregations to consider participating in the program. “Being involved is one more way to increase our personal bond with Israel, which is the heart and soul of the Jewish people… It gives us some emotional insight beyond what we read in the paper.”
It is clear Penso is touched by the outpouring of support from Herzl Ner-Tamid and Landsman. He wrote: “…there are no words to express our gratitude for your care and your help…. From the first moment, I had a feeling as if I was talking to old friends, and these conversations have been a most important contribution to my recovery process.”
Adopt-a-family Speaker
Sharon Evans, the founder and chair of Adopt-A-Family, will be in Seattle next month to speak about the program and meet with organizations interested in participating. She is scheduled to speak at Shabbat services at 6 pm on Friday, March 7 at Temple De Hirsch Sinai (Eastside) and at 9:30 am on Saturday, March 8 at Herzl-Ner Tamid on Mercer Island. She will also address a community event at 6 pm on Sunday, March 9 at Beth Shalom in Seattle. For more information, contact Dave Landsman at 206 275-4384 or [email protected].