By Leyna Krow, Assistant Editor, JTNews
The majority of the youngsters present at the Purim in Mexico event, hosted by the Friendship Circle on March 10 at the Community Center at Mercer View on Mercer Island, took little interest in Rabbi Elazar Bogomilsky’s speed reading of the Megillah, even with the rabbi’s choice of oversized sombrero and accompanying PowerPoint presentation featuring cartoon depictions of the Purim story.
Bogomilsky wasn’t insulted, however.
“This is just for them to have fun, really,” he said, gesturing to the room filled with children and parents in costume.
The Purim party is an annual holiday event for the Friendship Circle, an organization that provides structured social experiences for children with special needs, and of which Bogomilsky is the executive director.
Bogomilsky, a Chabad rabbi, along with his wife Esther, founded the Friendship Circle in 2005 after observing what Bogomilsky describes as “an unmet need in the community.”
“It’s about creating a network of people who can share challenges as well as special moments,” Bogomilsky said.
Friendship Circle participants, who range in age from 1 to 15 years old and all suffer from varying degrees of developmental disabilities, are linked up with teen volunteers who act both as mentors and friends in and outside of Friendship Circle events.
The Seattle-area Circle is based on a similar program started by a friend of Esther Bogomilsky’s in Detroit in 1994. The idea, to provide a place for kids with special needs to gather for purely social purposes, has caught on with parents and educators around the country. More than 50 Friendship Circles now operate in different cities. Although each Circle is an independent entity, they all rely on the same basic principles.
“For me, the key element is the concept of taking the typical world and the world of special needs and saying they aren’t different — they shouldn’t be different,” Rabbi Bogomilsky said.
Local Friendship Circle programs include twice-monthly Sunday Circles, during which special-needs children get together in a group with teen volunteers to do activities like arts and crafts, music, or karate. Friendship Circle also offers a Friends@Home program where teens travel to participating children’s homes to hang out and do projects with them one-on-one while giving parents a break.
Several times a year, Friendship Circle hosts special events, like holiday parties, sibling workshops, or mom’s nights out. The Friendship Circle receives some of its support from various foundations, but, according to Bogomilsky, the majority of its funding comes from individual local donors.
Bogomilsky noted that although the Friendship Circle is affiliated with the Chai Center of Seattle, an arm of Chabad Lubavitch, not all of the program’s participants are Jewish. In fact, they come from a wide variety of backgrounds and travel from all over King County to attend events. Many Friendship Circle gatherings, like the Purim party, do have expressly Jewish themes, and, as a result, are almost exclusively attended by Jewish members.
Along with Bogomilsky’s Megillah reading, the Purim in Mexico party, which was attended by almost 50 children, parents and volunteers, included a kosher Mexican-themed buffet, arts and crafts activities and a visit from Washington Serpentarium owner Scott Peterson, a.k.a “the Reptile Man” who brought a variety of lizards and snakes to the event for the kids to touch and hold.
“This event is different from our regular programs,” Bogomilsky pointed out. “Normally the parents aren’t here. Usually it’s just the kids and volunteers.”
The Friendship Circle currently boasts a roster of about 50 families with one or more participating children, and more than 80 teen volunteers.
Anita Bernard’s 9-year-old son has been a Friendship Circle participant for almost a year. She said that the confidence her son has gained through his bond with Friendship Circle teen volunteers has been invaluable.
“For my son to come and have a connection with these teens that is very sincere, that’s huge for him,” she said.
The volunteers, most of whom are Jewish, receive training before working with the kids, as well as opportunities to take part in social events just for them.
Chana Kornfeld has been a Friendship Circle volunteer since the program began in 2005. She said she feels the most important thing she can do for the kids in the Friendship Circle is to spend time with them as a peer.
“They have a lot of therapists coming in all the time and a lot of people paying attention to them,” Kornfeld said, “but we come just to be their friends and do what they want to do.”
Juliana Gamel, a student at Northwest Yeshiva High School, added that seeing her relationships with the kids at the Friendship Circle grow over time has been extremely rewarding.
“Just hanging out with the kids and seeing the difference you make — it’s great,” she said.
Bogomilsky was quick to point out that volunteering with the Friendship Circle isn’t for everyone, however.
“The key thing for the volunteers is they have to be able to take on the commitment to create a bond with a child with special needs. This isn’t something you just do once a year and go home,” he said. “It’s a process.”
He added that seeing the teens develop as compassionate, giving young adults is as rewarding for him as watching the progress of the children who attend the Friendship Circle.
“One of the things we’ve come to learn is, not only are we assisting families with kids with special needs, but we’re creating future leaders in our volunteers,” he said.