By
Ned Porges
,
Special to JTNews
My 24-year-old sons are fraternal twins. They are the youngest of my four children. I tried to give them a Jewish education. Sunday school and weekly Hebrew lessons were a constant strain. Their mother said you can’t push a child to learn, he will let you know when he is ready. I said they are Jewish children of mine and there is no negotiation. Needless to say, there was little to no Jewish education. They won; I lost. No Bar Mitzvah. No Jewish identity as I wished it to be. It was disappointing.
On the other hand, their older sister by two years couldn’t get enough of Hebrew school. She was a seasoned B’nai B’rith camper. For her Bat Mitzvah, I was so proud. She thrived, she learned trope, she did it all. Go figure.
Ever since their high school years, I would frequently suggest that my sons look into Birthright, a remarkable program that provides free passage for Jewish youth to travel to Israel. Eligible Jewish youth must be between ages 18 to 26. My friends have kids who went on these life-altering trips. All who participated have come back so enthused, so enlightened, so changed. My adult stepson and stepdaughter did Birthright a few years ago and encouraged my sons and daughter to go. My daughter said she’d rather visit Italy or Spain, and she did. My young sons echoed her sentiments.
My wife admonished me to stop pushing Birthright so hard. After all, we parents know well that the more we push, the more our kids will push back. Reluctantly, I dropped the subject.
A few years passed. My sons are young men, recent graduates from Northeastern University in Boston. One now works on Wall Street while the other stayed in Boston. They remain close despite being in different cities.
They have Jewish friends but still lacked Jewish identity. One son told me recently that when asked if he’s Jewish, he’d say no, but his parents are. The other once declared that religion is the root of the world’s ills.
Then, a few months ago, I got a call from one of the twins.
“Dad,” he said, “we’re on the Birthright waiting list.”
How did that happen? It seems that many of their Jewish college friends had gone on the Birthright trip. So, unbeknownst to me, my now-24-year-old twins decided that Birthright might be a good idea.
“Halleluyah!” I said to myself.
“See, I told you so,” my wife told me.
Finally, Birthright called and said they would be leaving August 16 for 10 days in Israel. The boys got their passports, a list of items to take, arranged for time off from their employers, and attended a pre-departure meeting in New York. The big day arrived and I got a last-minute phone call. They were ready to board at JFK with a group of 40 other Birthright participants. Twelve hours later I received an email saying they were waiting for their bags in Tel Aviv. That’s the last I heard from either of my boys.
Ten days later one son called and informed me he was back in New York. His brother, however, was still in Tel Aviv. Two young soldiers, their group escorts, had invited him to stay with them over the weekend. He accepted.
Last month, while chatting with “Mr. Skeptic,” I asked him to tell me some meaningful event or experience he’d had in Israel. He related that during lunch on a kibbutz, an alarm sounded, perhaps a fire or car alarm. One of the group, an Israeli student, abruptly stood up, momentarily terrified. My boy realized that at that moment, as an American Jew, he doesn’t live day to day with fear of rocket attacks, suicide bombers, death. Israeli Jews do. He experienced empathy for his Israeli hosts, guides, soldier escorts, and fellow Israeli students.
He told me his defining moment actually built over his 10-day sojourn. He thought Israel would be black hats, beards, and Palestinian oppressors.
“Actually,” he said, “we rarely saw Orthodox Jews. Almost everyone was just like us. Being Jewish doesn’t mean only religion, it is a culture, so I guess I am Jewish after all — and proud of it.”
Listen to this. A few days after their return, the same son called me and said he and a Birthright buddy were at an Israeli restaurant in New York. He missed Israel “sooooo much,” he decided to have a lunch of the now-familiar Middle Eastern fare. The cute Israeli waitress gave him the check and on the back was her phone number. So he called and made a date. They will indulge in smoking a “hookah” he brought back from Israel — that seems to be all the rage these days.
My two sons, enamored with their newly acquired homeland, ethnic identity, and life-changing experience, are looking forward to going back to Israel. My daughter now laments not heeding good old Dad’s advice. She is now too old for Birthright, but she can well afford the time and money to do it on her own.
So there it is. Birthright did in 10 days what I couldn’t in 10 years. Halleluyah!
Ned Porges lives in Seattle. This article comes in response to articles in our Dec. 13 and Dec. 20 issues that alternately criticized and defended the Birthright Israel program.