By Rivy Poupko Kletenik, Jewish Sound Columnist
Dear Rivy,
I know that many might feel that the world has a no shortage of horrible — nay, catastrophic — flash points erupting. Still, I cannot let go of the news item that some may see as petty. But it has served as a welcome distraction during this summer of universe-on-the-brink headlines. It’s about the fellow using the Knee-Defender on a United flight from Newark to Denver, preventing the woman in front of him from reclining her seat back. Without divulging where my sympathies lie, might I ask what Jewish law says about this scenario? Who was in the right and who was off base?
Trite perhaps; though possibly a microcosm of all of the world’s ills: Encroachment on other people’s territory, violent knee-jerk reactions, the flaring of tempers and forced expulsion — all the ingredients necessary to fit in with the rest of the world’s percolating messes. It does give us a bit of pause.
At the risk of sounding slightly clairvoyant or possessing a frightening knack for divination, I actually had an outline for a column already in the hopper about airplane behavior — perhaps in anticipation of this fight that broke out on account of the dreaded extreme seat recliner! You have to be behind one to know one. It’s just one of the many, how shall I say, annoying things that happen during air travel. Given the high level of potential snafus midair, I offer you a treatise entitled “All I Need to Know I Learned in Seat 11B — Big Lessons in Life Learned Onboard!”
Use this guide as your very own head start on High Holiday preparations. Rule number one goes out everyone on the flight who was diverted on account of the seat-recliner offender.
Rule #1: There is someone in front of you and someone behind you. Be careful.
This world of ours might be vast, but look around —someone is in front of and and behind you. Whether at the café, the supermarket, the gas station, on the freeway, in the classroom, or at the theatre, whether real or metaphoric, we are not alone on this planet. Others are everywhere. We must be mindful of them. All the time. And for the record — wherever that record is — I officially find great offense in the extreme recliner. My personal policy is to never, ever recline my seat. It’s not that I am so noble, I just really, really cannot bear when the person in front of me reclines into my lap. Therefore, out of an obligation to observe the mitzvah of “Love your neighbor as yourself,” I have no choice. I must not allow myself to recline. Whether it is permitted to slip in a Knee Defender would depend on the rule of the particular airline. If they forbid its use, it seems like a slam dunk that you do not break that contract with them. Done and done.
Rule #2: What you must pack, you must carry.
Always a good policy in life, not to pack any more than you can carry. Yes friends, let’s stop taking on more than we can handle. It never works out well. You’ve got to pay that overweight fee or check the bag at the gate or shove it into the overhead bin. It almost always falls right on that lovely person you sit next to for the next four hours. Pare it down. We are only passing through!
Remembering always: “Such is the life of Torah, a morsel of bread with salt, measured water and upon the ground you shall sleep and a life of deprivation you shall live.” Okay, within reason, but you get the idea. Though Judaism is not known for promoting asceticism, this Mishnah in Pirke Avot definitely urges some degree of awareness and restraint in regard to materialism.
Rule #3: Instructions for safety and lifesaving information is right in front of you.
In that seat pocket. All the information you need in case of an emergency, to save your life, could not be any closer. How many of us read it? Very few. The point? We all have “as if” in front of us, easily accessible, all we need to save ourselves, to have a good life. Do we tap into those resources? Do we make the effort to read the laminated card right in front of us? We all lead these lives, things inevitably happen; are we prepared? Are we ready to simply read the obvious? To see what is right in front of our eyes to prevent harm from coming our way? No. Mostly we obfuscate and ignore that which is the most apparent. As Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzato writes in his critical work, “The Paths of the Just,” the “Mesilat Yeshaim”:
I have written this work not to teach men what they do not know, but to remind them of what they already know and is very evident to them, for you will find in most of my words only things which most people know, and concerning which they entertain no doubts. But to the extent that they are well known and their truths revealed to all, so is forgetfulness in relation to them extremely prevalent.
We know the score. We need to make the effort to read, to notice, to pay attention to what is before our eyes. This Torah we have is not in heaven, but right here before us on earth — ours for the taking.
#4 Pay attention to the view from the window.
Ever notice how small those people look from way up high? How tiny those human affairs are compared to the vast heavens? A bird’s-eye view is to be treasured. Zooming out of the particular pettiness of our lives and the expansion of the view from above is instructive — and humbling. If it’s been awhile since you’ve seen how tiny the cars, the houses, the cities we live in truly are, then close your eyes and let your mind’s eye take you there, at least once a day. We are not as big as we seem. This core concept is invoked by Maimonides in his outline of Basic Principles of Torah.
What is the path to attain love and fear of Him? When a person contemplates His wondrous and great deeds and creations and appreciates His infinite wisdom that surpasses all comparison, he will immediately love, praise, and glorify Him, yearning with tremendous desire to know God’s great name. As David stated: “My soul thirsts for the Lord, for the living God” (Psalms 42:3).
When he continues to reflect on these same matters, he will immediately recoil in awe and fear, appreciating how he is a tiny, lowly and dark creature, standing with his flimsy, limited wisdom before He who is of perfect knowledge. As David stated: “When I see Your heavens, the work of Your fingers… I wonder what is man that You should recall Him” (Psalms 8:4-5).
With the High Holidays upon us, we’ve got to grab our life lessons from where we can and if “All I Need To Know I Learned in Seat 11B” has helped, then the Knee-Defender offender has done his good work.
Rivy Poupko Kletenik is an internationally renowned educator and Head of School at the Seattle Hebrew Academy. If you have a question that’s been tickling your brain, send Rivy an e-mail at rivy.poupko.kletenik@gmail.com.